Here comes the questions that I will always try to answer, the expression of individuality, the favorite color has been decided and she's sticking to it! Guess what mom, it's green and it doesn't matter how much I'd perfer it pink. Miss Em is already 4 year-old! She is already in her stage between toddler and young child. The infamous let me try it myself, amazing me with how smart she is, teaching how to react to situations that would typically tick her off, kind of moments.
Attitudes are forming at this stage. Mannerisms are starting to set in and limits will be tested. At this point, I am grateful that teaching Miss Em to say "No thank you." was a priority for her vocabulary. When a picky three year old says "I don't want it!" to almost every other thing u offer her, it starts to sound a little rude. The whine that comes with those four little words is still a shock. Well it was important to remind her "When we don't want something we say, no thank you." became my response. Now everyday she's learning something new. I even see her helping me remind her sisters to use their manners too. Start using no thank you and talk the way that is expected from the child, too and around the child.
Children have different temperaments and every child is an individual. They all express themselves differently with their own personalities. Watching the transformation from baby to toddler, toddler to child, child to teenager, is a blessing. I've truly been blessed to be able to watch all my children meet their first milestones!
Now that we have settled in to our apartment and the babies are getting a little older, its time for a new schedule. I found a website article on Familyshare.com I thought was very clever on how to make a schedule and follow it. It makes it look easy. I thought it would be a good way to get the children involved and create an understanding. You can access this great article here. http://familyshare.com/ease-into-a-routine-with-8-simple-steps
So today, we are going to sit the girls down and we are going to make a schedule that the girls agree with. We will put it on a big posterboard and display it, where it can be seen and followed. This will not only get them involved but easier to corporate with the new routine. Most things will stay the same. However, now that there is a tablet in the house, and the girls can help out more, I would like to add a little helper, clean up time, and tablet time. I think having set times the girls can use the tablet will keep them from using it whenever, until whenever they want to. Prevent some arguments.
I also liked that she has set wake up times and set bedtime. I think this is important that those times are the same everday. Being firm will make the transition easier to be done. Also, using pictures to help them understand and feel more involved is a great idea. I will post pictures of the poster when we are done and discuss what we came up with. If you make a schedule following this advice or you read this amazing article from Familyshare.com please leave your thoughts bellow.
In this generation, women have to work. It's the sad truth, but even if you don't want to, you still have to. I believe that if a mother wants to stay home, with her children, it can beneficial to find an online job. Be careful for scams, and make sure it's legitimate. I plan on adding a section on here to help mothers find work from home.
So say you just found this awesome job. Now you need to find childcare. No one knows your children like you do. You can get them involved and ask them "who do you like watching you?" even "who do you like more?" I definitely ask my oldest these questions. If my child does not like you, you can't watch my kids. If you want your child to behave better, make sure they're comfortable with who is watching them.
Another thing is, you get what you pay for. Treat the people that care for your children, with care and respect. Always make sure if you want something extra done, you ask for it. Reward for extra work. A babysitter that cares for your children tends to get very attached to your children. They may do extra around the house for you. If you want a good relationship with your babysitter, at the end of the week give her a tip. This will guarantee she will continue doing a great job. Show her you appreciate her.
Okay so only a mother can be a mom. I also believe when it comes to leaving your children alone with somebody, it should also be a female. Unless it is somebody related, or you completely trust. Background checks are necessary when looking for a caregiver. Try to avoid looking for caregivers online. That idea just scares me. So many people out there, do not know how to care for a child properly. Make sure you get you know the caregiver first. If you are bringing your child to a Care Center make sure its clean, safe, and friendly. Always check out a center before you sign your child up for that center. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me a question through my contact forums.
Thank you and good luck on finding your perfect babysitter, because when it comes to your child, don't accept anything but perfect.
It is important that a child is supervised while being outside. A child should never be left alone, unattended or unsupervised, never mind alone outside. Keeping them entertained, making sure that they are safe, will keep them from causing trouble or getting hurt. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen children outside playing and their parents are nowhere to be found. Don’t expect them to stay out of the road without someone watching them. They need to learn their boundaries, where they can play and where isn’t safe. If a ball rolls into the road almost any child will run after it, unless there is an adult there to make sure otherwise. Anything can happen to a child that is not being supervised. A child that is allowed to run free without supervision is less likely to listen. They haven’t had to listen to anyone all day, so why are they going to start now? There are so many dangers in this world that children are not aware of. The world isn’t getting safer.
I have recently read on circle of moms.com that mothers are actually letting their 8 year old watch their 3 and 5 year olds alone outside. Their excuse is that they don’t have the time to be outside with their children and don’t want to “rob” them of playing outside during the summer. This seems so unrealistic to me. Not wanting to rob them of playing outside? How about robbing them of their lives? Just because a child has been alone outside before and nothing “bad” has happened, doesn’t mean that it never will. Having a completely fenced in back yard and visually seeing the child from the window can still be dangerous. Letting a child outside unsupervised is setting the child up for disaster. The 8 year old is not mature enough to watch the 5 year old. They’re not going to be able to stop a grown man from taking off with them, and could be taken easily with no one watching. Think about how many times a day a child has to be told stop doing this or stop doing that. Now unsupervised, they can get away with anything and no one would even know.
Having a teenager who is responsible, isn’t going to ignore the children playing, and will keep them out of the road, or pick them up and bring them in the house if they feel the situation is unsafe is a better situation. Being a mother there is never enough time in the day. Barley having time to get in the shower everyday yourself or remembering to eat while dishing out breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and making sure they have their baths are more important. The child’s safety is more important and not an excuse for not having a clean house. Emma loves to go outside and play. She knows that after her nap time and snack time, it’s time to go outside and play. She will pick out the pair of shoes she wants to wear and it’s not always the same pair. She also knows where to put her shoes when she comes in. She is only two. I would never let an 8 year old watch her. She plays with all the kids in the neighborhood. There is a 9 year old, 8 year old, 7 year old, and two 5 year olds. Even with that many kids I would never let her play without adult supervision at all times. Now sometimes if I need to get something inside ill ask her aunt who is almost 14 to play with her while I get this or that done. Emma enjoys playing with her aunt. But even her aunt being 14 and as responsible as she is, it’s never for extended periods of time.
The other children in the neighborhood run freely all day long. We are kind of on a dead end road and we know all of our neighbors, but that doesn’t make it OK. We’ve gotten numerous letters from our landlords about the kids staying in their own yards and leaving other peoples toys alone. Children can’t be expected to follow the rules all the time. They are just that, children. They are still learning their boundaries and sometimes they know better but still do as they please. If you don’t want out of control children then don’t let them run around the neighborhood out of control.
Along with having a child (not teenager) unsupervised outside to play, is a very dangerous safety hazard (and I’m not sure is even legal) it is also not going to help them listen any better. If they know they are being watched and misbehaving isn’t going to be aloud, they will less likely need to be spoken to about their behavior. Everyone has their own views and opinions about this. These are mine.
A child repeats a lot from what they learn from their parents. If they hear thank you and please, they are more likely to have better manners. As a parent, teaching manners is a big part of teaching good behavior. Children listen better when they are respected themselves. Showing a child respect and saying thank you will go a lot further then ignoring the child.
Emma says “Thank you” all day long. She will continue to say “Thank you” until she hears a reply of “Your welcome”. She is very polite for only being two years old. We are very proud of her and the way she behaves. She has even started asking “Are you Ok?” when someone bumps into something or something falls. Then she will keep saying it until she hears a reply. Now at 28 months Emma can throw away her own diaper. She does it without being told if I’m not fast enough at doing it myself. She will throw it away in the trash, the wrapper or stick to her ice pop when she is done, without being told to. She doesn’t play with the trash or throw away toys. When she throws something away we say “Thank you” and she replies with “Your welcome” and clapping her hands. She knows how proud we are of her. Her good behavior is followed by praise. When I was a child, my mother once told me “I’m not going to praise you for doing something you knew you were already supposed to do” No wonder I was a little brat. The only way I got recognized was for doing wrong. This is a horrible thing to say to a child. A child that gets praise for good behavior or positive reinforcement is used will more likely listen and have better manners.
I was so worried about her learning empathy. I didn’t think she was going to pick it up as soon as she did. She always laughed if someone got hurt. She thought it was funny. She didn’t understand that other people can get hurt and thought it was a game. With time she has grown into such a caring baby girl and she is a total sweetheart.
She hears me say Thank you all day long. I say thank you to everyone after almost everything. All day long I am saying thank you. I try to be the nicest person I can, and let people know that they are appreciated. Saying thank you, your welcome, I love you, and are you ok, is the most used words out of my mouth. In return my daughter has learned the same mannerisms. Everyone in my household uses thank you regularly.
We are still working on the word please. Emma doesn’t hear the word please as much as the other words. When asking her to do something, I’m not giving her an option. I am telling her to do it. I will thank her for doing so, but it’s not an option it is a demand. She knows when I tell her to stop doing something or to do something she doesn’t have a choice, but will be appreciated for doing so. She listens even if she doesn’t want to. Sometimes she says no, because she doesn’t want to do something, she does it anyways. I know that she is saying no, because she doesn’t want to. Not because she is not going to do what I asked her. I still reply with don’t tell me no, but that’s the end of it, and followed by a thank you after she does what she is told.
How Children under Four Benefit From Nap Time
A child needs sleep to grow and develop. They need the right nutrients in their diet and the right amount of sleep to grow to their full potential. During growth spurts that commonly happen regularly till the child reaches 5 or older, a child may appear hungrier and sleep more. To aid a toddler’s fast development and growth they need naps because you grow when you’re sleeping. The more sleep a child gets the more growing that they do. Especially because they go through growth spurts and their bodies completely change every 3-6 months since they are born till well past being a toddler. Children are always growing and changing. For a child to develop to their full potential they need as much sleep as they can get.
Not only are children small and they run out of energy quickly, over stimulated easily, they wake up very early every day. It can be easy to be confused to as if a child is being out of line/ and misbehaving rather than being overtired/grouchy because they are tired. Nap time gives children the chance to dream and process the information they are learning, refresh their minds and get them ready to sponge more information. Having the same nap time everyday gives the child the down time they need to prevent them from midday crankiness. Acting out and not listening can be caused from lack of sleep. Nap tome gives the child the down time they need to relax, slow down and keep their minds sharp. When it’s not nap time there should be lots of active play as learning as well. A child who doesn’t take a nap is more likely to act out, whine, or not listen. During the toddler stage naps prevent outburst and temper tantrums. Even little babies, need to sleep regularly. After being up for a couple hours they might need to go back down and be rocked if they don’t fall asleep from the bottle. Baby’s, who do not sleep enough, even when they are getting everything else they need regularly, will cry more if they don’t get enough sleep.
To get the child in a routine for nap time is to start from day one. Keep the same nap pattern for your child a constant. A child looks for routines so they know what is coming next, for security and confidence. A child who has been sleeping regularly since birth will continue to cooperate in taking a nap for years. When they get a litter older they may start to refuse naps out of independence. But being consistent from day one and they will eventually see your not giving in. Putting on music during nap time, reading a book together, or rubbing their backs will help put the child to sleep. Children that are used to sleeping that couple hours during the day and then having a routine bedtime will be used to sleeping at those times and eventually their bodies will adjust and know it’s time for a nap or its time for bed.
Even in daycare's, the regulations require daycare providers to give the children at least an hour or more of down time where the lights are off and the child is relaxing whether it is taking a nap on a cot or being on the cot laying there quiet. When picking out your daycare it is important to ask about their nap time rules. A center that does not have a designated nap time, that if you happened to show up, they would be napping, then it’s not the best daycare choice. A good daycare will have a set nap time and allow you to stop by during the day or even let you sit in unexpected and without reason. You can learn a lot about how a daycare is ran by observation, knowing what to look for.
Biting and Teething
Could biting be a lack of sensory development? According to NAEYC toddlers who do not experience enough texture of food, or chances to chew may be prone to biting. To prevent biting supplying more chewy snacks and an array of textures may do the trick. According to an observation done by NAEYC in 2005 showed children with a history of biting spent longer time eating and choose more chewy snacks. Toddlers learn through their senses and one of the biggest senses they depend on is linked to their mouths. That’s why they always try to put things in their mouths.
If you have a child that bites, you may want to consider changing or adding to their diet. Try new things more often. Always dice and cut food into small pieces to avoid choking. The NAEYC also recommends letting toddlers chew on an oral stimulation brush. I however suggest a baby spoon. Some days Emma carries a baby spoon all day when she’s teething. She chomps on it and loves it. It helps ease the pain of molars coming in. She has teething rings we keep in the freezer as well. She recently poked a hole right threw one. We give her 100% juice freeze pops to help ease the pain too.
For children who are three or older and are biting, the NAEYC recommends comparing eating habits to children of the same age as them. Compare the child’s ability to pronounce words and experience eating different textures. Weak oral motor control and ability can make a child prone to biting. This can help you determine whether biting is being caused from a sensory development problem, or and attention behavior.
If you find that your child is biting and it’s not because of a sensory delay, and you are continuing to add chewy and crunchy textures to their diet, it could be an attention issue. There are all kinds of reasons that can cause a child to bite. When a child’s environment changes, or is stressful they may act out in biting. When failing at learning a new task the risk of biting increases out of frustration. A toddler may bite similar to why they have temper tantrums. When they fail at a task they can’t verbally express themselves.
Different foods to introduce to a child that bites:
· Diced Apples
· Ice Chips
· Rice Cakes
· Graham Crackers
· Diced Raw Veggies
· Cheese Cubes
React in a sensitive way. Show them how to complete their goals, or avoid activities that are not age appropriate, or they couldn’t possibly complete. Explain biting is not tolerated and it’s not nice to bite. Take the child away from the situation and into a time-out. I use a chair with a book. Time-outs are recommended a minute per year of life. After time-out is over, ask why did you bite? Explain biting hurts, you don’t want to hurt your friends. Then explain your friends won’t play with you anymore if you bite. Give the child a chance to speak. Do not interrupt them and continue with the conversation. Ask the child if they are sorry, and never force a false apology.
Work Cited: Journal of the National Association for the Education of Young Children March 2006 A New Bit on Toddler Biting The Influence of Food, Oral Motor Development and Sensory Activities. “Pamela Ramming, Caroline S. Kyger and Stacy D. Thompson Pg 17-22”
There are many different variables that can make a baby over stimulated. When new people come into baby’s environment, watch how they react. I believe to have a calm baby, it’s important to keep babies from becoming over stimulated. Too much noise, people or hyper animals can cause the baby stress. Babies might get stressed out more, if they are not used to animals. Being over stimulated means there is too much going on around the baby and causes them to get cranky or tired.
Having light colors in baby's room can also help keep the room calm and help baby sleep better. When the bedroom walls are painted bright colors it can over stimulate the baby. Even in preschool classrooms this can cause the class to act crazy and out of control. Having the walls painted different bright colors may look nice, but have a room painted light blue will keep an environment that isn't over stimulating and will overall set a better tone for the classroom.
Bringing baby to unfamiliar places can also cause baby to become over stimulated. Bringing a baby or toddler to an overcrowded restaurant, grocery store, or any other place can be a lot for a baby/toddler to handle. Keeping them occupied while at these places can help. Letting them bring their favorite toy, book, snacks, or keeping them busy will help keep them from acting out because of what’s going on around them.
Emma behaves a lot better in the grocery store if she has a cookie, or something to munch on, while we are in there. For some reason Emma just doesn't like the grocery store. We try to get a sitter for when we go, but sometimes it's just not possible. She's hated the grocery store since she was a newborn, however she's never seemed to mind when we go to Wal-Mart.
Baby's also need alone time just like anyone else does. Alone time helps them to get used to playing on their own and being independent. Too much attention all the time can over stimulate a baby. For a newborn this is easy to do, seeing on how they can be put in a swing while the caregiver is getting things done around the house. Most babies will be completely content swinging in their swing listening to music, or staring at the mobile that hangs above them. Especially after belly time where they are practicing their physical development and begin to get fussy or tired, and over stimulated. It is always important to monitor a baby while they are on the ground and not strapped into something.
Calming an over stimulated baby can be tricky. It mostly includes taking the baby out of the crazy environment and soothing them. Swaddling a baby is something i highly recommend. It gives them security and comfort being wrapped tightly in a snug blanket. Going into a quiet room and rocking baby until they calm down will help calm a fussy baby that is over stimulated. When they become over stimulated the caregiver must do their best to stay calm and collected themselves, or the baby will sense it. Sucking on a pacifier also helps calm a fussy baby, as well as a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. Taking the baby out of the situation is always the first step to calming an over stimulated infant. Telling the baby that you are there and that you love them also helps a baby feel more secure.
When a baby is learning trust, and beginning their lives in this big strange scary world, peace and quiet is important. Fighting, or yelling in front of baby scares them and can affect their ability to trust, their caregivers and others. There is no reason to yell at a baby that can't even walk or get into anything yet, and there is no reason to yell at a baby for crying. There is also no reason to swear at your child, or around them. Keeping baby away from people that yell at each other or fight all the time, will help keep baby from learning those habits. All babies and children learn from what they see, they don't know any better. Calm environments will ultimately make baby calmer, relaxed, and help them develop trust.
Stressful environments will cause stress to baby. They can feel when there is tension or stress in their environment. A baby in a stressful environment is likely to cry more, and develop social and emotional problems later on. Keeping a peaceful environment will be most beneficial to the child now, and later on in life. When someone around the baby is yelling it puts stress on baby and scares them. They are trying to develop trust. The environment can affect that developmental process strongly.
So let people know when they come to the house to keep the volume down, do not fight in front of baby, and try to relax after being in a stressful situation, to avoid putting that stress on your baby, where it doesn't belong. There is no reason for the caregivers to fight over every little thing. Disagreements are possible without it turning into a yelling match. Trying to solve problems without getting stressed or yelling, will teach baby to do the same.