Have you ever heard the saying, "You can't spoil a baby"? I believe there is some truth to this statement. There is no such thing as giving a baby too much love, attention, or meeting their needs too much. The caregivers are the only people that baby have to rely on to meet those needs. They develop a special bond and learn to trust by meeting those needs. When a baby cries they are feeling insecure; or need their needs met. Instincts take over and after a while you will know what baby needs without a second thought. You can’t give a baby too much love, but giving them objects they shouldn't have to keep them quiet will spoil baby in the wrong ways.
Babies eat, sleep, and need to be cleaned, but as they get older they will start to reach for things that are not toys. My favorite saying is "That is not a toy". Babies, especially toddlers need to learn the concept of the word No, they don't already fully understand yet. Their first thought is well why not? Saying this is not a toy, and then giving them something that is: for one redirects their attention and for two explains why they cannot play with that object. When a child goes to the stairs, I’d say something like DOWN in a firm voice. Then I would redirect her and tell her "Let’s play with your ball, can you find your ball?" Also let your child know that it’s boo boos to play on the stairs. Then play with the ball together. Using positive reinforcement and using statements like "you need to", or "that's not a toy" or “Where is your ball?” is works better then “No, don't do that" Instead tell them what you want them to do, by using positive reinforcement. Babies are curious and want to explore what is around them. It's okay to have a basket full of soft baby things that they can pull out and go through. I found this worked better for my house then letting her play in a cabinet that was child proofed. Also having a gate up and keeping things that the child should not be playing with avoids a lot of temptation. When a baby gets curious they want to touch anything they can get their hands on. It’s up to the caregiver to make sure that things that aren't for them to play with, or are dangerous are out of reach. When a caregiver gives a toddler/baby whatever they want because they are screaming for it, then that makes it okay for them to act like that. They'll think, "Well I'll just scream till I get what I want." This leads to unbelievably bad behavior later on. The caregiver is in charge, not the one year old, and they need to know just because they cry. It’s not going to make the caregiver give in, when there is more than one caregiver for your child this issue needs to be addressed to each person caring for the child. When grandma lets baby play with anything they scream for, then the parent doesn't at home, it will be ten times the challenge to stop the behavior. Consistency is the key point.
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I've seen many parents do some things that really bother me and listen to them complain that their children don't listen. Here are a couple tricks you can do to have a better listener.
1. If a child only gets attention from doing something bad then they will continue to do things bad to get your attention. 2. If a child knows they can get away with getting into something and their mom isn't going to prevent it from happening they will do it. 3. If your on the computer and you yell for your child to do something from the other room they wont listen. 4. If you tell your child shut off the TV and go to bed, and walk out of the room there not going to shut off the TV or go to bed, but if you shut off the TV and put them in bed you have a better chance. If that doesn't work you shut off the TV and say pick out a book you want me to read to you. 5. Its all about delivery of the message, be straight and to the point. Don't give options unless there is an actual option. 6. Don't tease a child with something they cant have! Meaning don't let a child carry around a toy in the store that your not going to buy them, and don't buy them a toy every time you go to a store. 7. REMEMBER: children act out for THREE REASONS!! They are not getting attention for positive behavior, or they are trying to accomplish a task that they haven't mastered yet out of frustration, or they aren't getting their needs fully met. (enough sleep, food, ect.) Unless there is a medical condition. 8. Charts, Games, And spending time with your child works wonders!! 9. Children go off of VIBES if they feel you being stressed they will be stressed!!!! 10. If you are a loud person, don't expect your child not to be. 11. If you don't want your child to swear then lead by example. 12. Children need structure. They need the same routine daily! As in a time they wake up, eat, nap time, bedtime, should be the same time everyday. 13. Some parents think that when a child starts school they no longer have to teach their child. Why would a child want to learn math that their parents don't even know? Stay active with their schoolwork and homework, keep open communication with their teachers and make sure the child knows about it! Having a set homework time where you read the book together, help them when they need help while doing the problems will help your child take school more seriously because you do, and show them you care about what they are doing all day long.(also giving them positive attention they need) 14. If a child is hitting, yelling, biting, being mean, or breaking your rules take them outside the group or away from the situation and place them in a chair at a table with books on it, and say its not nice to hit, read a book and calm down. (that really does work!!! Ive seen it over and over while i worked in day cares!!) 15. In daycare's they have the children help them make up the rules, and write them on poster board with them and put it some where visible. When they start misbehaving they remind them remember the rules we came up with? and Point to the chart and read them. great for 3-4 year old. I know ill use that at home. 16. Children are easily influenced, at all ages. Keep them away from kids that don't listen or scream all the time unless you want them to act like that. 17. Don't ignore your child when they are talking to you, or need your help. |
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